Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Definition...
Medical distinction between Guts and Balls
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically, speaking there is No difference in the outcome.
Both result in death.
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically, speaking there is No difference in the outcome.
Both result in death.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Entabulator
Several years ago, Rockwell International decided to get into the heavy
duty transmission business.
They were getting ready to tape their first introduction video.
As a warm up, the professional narrator began what has become a legend
within the trucking industry.
This man should have won an academy award for his stellar performance.
Now remember, this is strictly off the cuff, nothing is written down.
I think you will enjoy this once in a lifetime performance from this
gentleman.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Monday, December 21, 2009
Above average...you betcha!
After digging to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire which dated back 100 years. They came to the conclusion, that their ancestors had had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet. Shortly afterwards, a story appeared in the LA Times which said: "California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire. They have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."
One week later, The Pioneer Press, a newspaper in Minnesota, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Embarrass, Minnesota, Ole Olson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely nothing. Ole has concluded that 300 years ago, Minnesota had already gone wireless.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet. Shortly afterwards, a story appeared in the LA Times which said: "California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire. They have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."
One week later, The Pioneer Press, a newspaper in Minnesota, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Embarrass, Minnesota, Ole Olson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely nothing. Ole has concluded that 300 years ago, Minnesota had already gone wireless.
Monday, December 14, 2009
An important message!
If you have a young driver in your family, or if you find yourself texting while driving, they and you should see this video...
http://ut.zerofatalities.com/texting.php
http://ut.zerofatalities.com/texting.php
Friday, December 11, 2009
A heartwarming Christmas story...
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
Sincerely,
Edna
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
Sincerely,
Edna
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